Avoiding Valentine's Day Heartaches in the Classroom

Elementary classrooms routinely celebrate Valentine's Day with a party and trading of valentine greetings. The holiday comes at a time when children and teachers alike are dreaming of spring, and it makes a nice diversion. However, the nature of valentine trading is such that children can easily get their feelings hurt. If a child does not receive a valentine from a certain classmate, even if it was an oversight, the child is likely to feel left out. A teacher or parent can do some things to minimize the possibility of these young broken hearts.

The most obvious thing a teacher or parent can do is to require each child to give a valentine to every other student in the class. No one is to be left out, even if the children do not get along. This situation can be used as an opportunity to teach about tolerance for people who are different in various ways. A child should be encouraged to look for some positive trait in every other child in the class.

Children understand how it feels to not be popular. Help them be compassionate toward those less popular classmates. Of all the social stresses in school classrooms, friendship and popularity is probably the most important in a child's eyes. It ranks with math tests and spelling words as a potential area of failure. Parents and teachers can share with the children their own stories about unhappy Valentine's Day experiences during their own childhoods.

Perhaps a child would be more comfortable not handing out valentines. The choice should be his or her own, but they should be warned that the other children might not give them one either. They should also be warned that they might feel weird when the cards are passed out if they do not participate.

Like other modern holidays, Valentine's Day has become more and more commercialized. While making home made valentines might seem to be a way to counteract this trend, most children will feel uncomfortable giving out a different type of valentine than all the others. Home made valentines are really best for special non-classmate friends, or in the event of the whole classroom deciding to pass out home made cards.

Most packages of commercial valentines include one or two really special cards that can be given to special friends, or even to that one that the child would secretly like to have for a sweetheart. If they want to give a special card to a special child anonymously, they may also want to give a signed card to make it more of a mystery. The special card might be bigger than the rest or have a more personal message, such as "I love you." An especially large or romantic valentine given anonymously will live on for the recipient as a very special memory.

With a little consideration, every child in the classroom should be able to enjoy Valentine's Day without heartaches.

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